Because I've Been Asked So Often

You may have yourself been one of those
Who’s asked me
More often than I can
Or choose even any attempt to answer
I, once again, entertained thoughts
Helping me swerve
From answering actors who feed
Incurable curiosities
About who has crossed my devious life’s path
What pleasures and or the displeasures caused by those who may have stumbled
Onto the path taken by da harv during what now totals more than fifty years
Of lane changes within my chosen path…
Endeavoring, if for no other reason…
Then a touch more than mediocrity
I write as I have lived
In a disjointed fashion
Brought on by a profession without choice
I do admit having experienced great joy
If only occasionally

Certain special people along my way
Freely brought me unparalleled joy.
I pray I have offered much of the same to many of them.

        Sometime during November 1954, I was separated from the United States Army. Following the long voyage home from Korea, I found myself on the deck of our troupe ship preparing to disembark, and heading to an airport for our flight from California to Fort Lewis in the state of Washington.
        I do believe all of us guys were looking forward to returning to our homeland. But what took place at the end of our some fifteen days at sea was this feeling of uncertainty taking hold. I had been away from home for over sixteen months, yet I was uncomfortable in my own stead.
        A good thing I figured at the time was that the Army presented me with mustering out pay of about eight hundred dollars. Today, it would be equal to $8,288. I didn’t even have to spend a moment thinking about it. “Wine, women and song”, was to last me thirty days.

        While she wasn’t even near the beginning in line with those industry folks I’ve met, during my travels within the confines of what is misnamed: “Show Business”— Peggy Lee, nevertheless, was as captivating in person as most women could desire to be. This fact of life has nothing to do with my current small place in the world of voiceover.

        At the time my dear, wonderful cousin, show biz star, Dave Barry, was the opening comedy act at Ciro’s nightclub, featuring the one and only Peggy Lee as their headliner. Dave had taken it upon himself to serve as my personal entertainment guide to the inner workings of nightlife in Los Angeles.
        Dave made it a point to inform a couple of the chorus girls, that his friend Harvey was a returning soldier back from Korea. Backstage meeting some of these gals was almost too overpowering for me to handle. Somehow I managed to cope with it. “Oye, what a candy store for a twenty-one-year-old deprived soldier to be experiencing, in live and living color. Like one of my Army buddies used to say, “I was in hogs heaven!”
        But, without me knowing it, the best was yet to come. The stage manager stuck his head in to signal the ladies it was time. Dave let me know for us to move outside the club and wait for Peggy to arrive. It had never occurred to me I was about to be personally introduced to Peggy Lee. (It was their procedure for Dave to be introduced to the audience as a signal that Peggy had entered the building.) Harvey Kalmenson was definitely becoming overly excited with expectations of what was about to happen.
        Peggy’s limo pulled up to the curb as a very large guy came forward from the crowd and stood ready for them to signal that Peggy was ready for him to open the back door of the car. Dave smiled at her as if it was a signal for her to move over to where we stood. She greeted Dave with a warm and friendly smile and then turned toward me. “I’d like to introduce my dear friend, Harvey Kalmenson”. Peggy without hesitation offered me her hand. It seemed like everything stood still before I got myself to move toward her. We shook hands and she said to me without hesitation, “You look familiar, have we met before?”

        In all the world, there was one Peggy Lee. And I got to meet her. Though we never met again or worked together during all these years which have passed so quickly, that evening of total enjoyment has stayed with me and will forever.
        And through these many years which have fleeted by: the ups, the downs, the ins and outs, the visits to all around towns, the thousands I have preached to in life’s entry-level, or those “pities” self-claimed as being renown. A question comes forward from one in the crowd, “Da harv, if you could meet and talk with anyone, past or present, who would it be? “

For sure an epic two
Like Sir Winston Churchill
From dusk until dawn
Drinking together
Listening to all and everything he chose to say

Followed by lady Peggy Lee
Rolling the clock back to 1954
If for only one moment more
A woman’s hand in mine
And da harv saying
Do you remember me
In front of Ciro’s
We’ve met before?

Harvey Kalmenson

History

Not Quite Ancient History

(Although it's beginning to feel like it)

If you can stand a little personal stuff (history).

This just in:

BIG TIME LEAD STORY...

        Far more important events have taken place before Catherine Rose Zukuski landed her tootsies on the shores of la-la land. Her auspicious arrival year: 1981. Kenny Rogers saluted her with “Lady”, and John Lennon chimed in with “(Just Like) Starting Over”. Kind of appropriate, don’t you think? Goodbye Leo Burnett, Hello Abrams Rubaloff, and enter our star (hero) Harvey Kalmenson. Her (heroine-in-waiting) planet had changed. “Would you like to have lunch?” he offered.

And now continuing on as third party removed:
        Harvey (not yet da harv) was in his fifth year at Abrams Rubaloff & Associates. He had joined them as an entry-level casting person or what was referred to as a sub-agent in 1976. On his first day at the new job, Harvey figured he’d be out of there in a week at the most, never ever again, he prayed never to become a lasting part of a commercial talent organization. Clearly, this wasn’t for him. His fervent prayers, fortunately for him, were never to be answered.
        During an extended interim, Cathy joined, working for Abrams Rubaloff as well, heading up their talent payment department. It was in 1993, some twelve years or so later, that Harvey and Cathy Kalmenson lit up their own marquee as the most prominent casting company, as well as the most prominent educators the industry had ever before experienced. Kalmenson & Kalmenson: the business of voice casting. The two had become one, becoming husband and wife the preceding year, before going into business together.

THE KALMENSON METHOD

Excerpted from a series of radio interviews that aired during the course of the years:
        I never dreamed of having my name on anything but a marquee, perhaps cluttered with lights, the greatest ego provider of all time. But during my very first month on the job, things took a turn for the better than expected. It was during an audition when Mike Road stood there after completing what he was called in to audition for, and with the grand resonance of his magnificent voice said, "You know Harvey, every one of them out there is talking about how good you’re doing as a voice director."
        Apparently, the word had gotten across to Noel Rubaloff, the owner of the business. If there is anything a talent agent understands, it’s money. Noel had called me in to chat, as he put it, “I don’t know what the hell you’ve been up to with the VO actors, but whatever it is…don’t stop doing it”.
        But don’t foster the impression by his bravado I was about to receive a great big salary increase—that wasn’t the case at all. Plainly speaking, I have to admit I was enjoying the daily accolades from the actors, men, and women, who were coming in each and every day to audition for me. Things began happening to and for me without my own awareness. I was directing those audition scripts as if we were working on individual scenes from a play. And then like a children’s story beginning with "once upon a time", the whole damn thing took on a lasting shape.
        A rather prominent actor, Simon Oakland, always enjoyed my little tricks. It was at a particular time and incident when Simon was really enjoying working with me. He was in reading for me, and he thought our audition had come to an end. Well actually it had—but at the last minute, I handed him another script and asked him to please have a look at it.
        The spot was for a company named "Terminix Pest Control". "Try some of it so we can get a level." He began reading from the top as a straight announcer. I stopped him in order to give him a different direction than what was printed on the script. “Si”, I said. “I need you to deliver this the way you played that hard-bitten cop that got you to where you are today.”

        He smiled and without delay, he was into it. “That was terrific”, I said. “But now I need you to sing over and over again, the part about 'no more bugs'.” So he does. We win, and the world is a better place. The spot was part of how I eulogized him on tape along with many other spots he auditioned and thanked me for doing with him during the far too limited years we spent collaborating. Simon Oakland was a real “mensch”.

Simon Oakland in West Side Story (1961)

mensch (noun)

a person of integrity and honor

ORIGIN: 1930s, Yiddish mensh, from German Mensch, literally ‘person’.

Surprise, Surprise!

        The number of actors who discovered voiceover success, I'm proud to say had a great deal to do with my tutelage. Somewhere along the way very early on, during my first year at Abrams Rubaloff, two of our actors, Art James and Casey Kasem, were conducting a seminar at the University Of Southern California. They asked me if I would join them and put on a demonstration of what a voiceover audition was like for some of the drama students.

        Art James, an American game-show host, was best known for shows such as The Who, What, or Where Game, It's Academic. and Pay Cards! He was also the announcer and substitute host on the game show Concentration.

        Casey Kasem, an American disc jockey, actor, and radio personality, had created and hosted several radio countdown programs, notably American Top 40. He was the first actor to voice Norville "Shaggy" Rogers in the Scooby-Doo.

        At the time both Art and Casey were extremely well-known celebrities. Casey in his own parlance was considered one of the top voiceover actors of his era. Harvey Kalmenson was not in a position to turn either of them down. In my mindset at the time, I figured the only reason they asked me to go on was due to my supervisor at the time having absolutely no interest in student education—especially since there wasn’t a fee involved. Little did I know what was about to take place. In actuality, the event and what it caused was a future life changer for me. Make no mistake, I knew I was good at what I did as a teacher and performer, but it was another of those happenings we do without thinking about the positive consequences.

As told to Lee Marshall (before he was known and recognized as "Tony the Tiger"), in an interview for ABC Broadcast News Los Angeles:
        I enter the parking lot and am pleasantly surprised by one of the drama students who were in charge of my well-being. I was escorted to what she referred to as their green room. Everything on that day was totally professional. Art was in the process of completing his presentation by introducing Casey to the crowd. I mean— "let the [pleasurable] games begin".
        Casey Kasem did his thing. Every one of the plus five hundred students in attendance was enjoying every word of truth he offered them. Whether it was the truth or not, Casey believed that if he said it, then it became gospel coming from him to you, and make no mistake—he could sell it. By the time he completed his introduction of Harvey Kalmenson, I damn near received a standing ovation.
        I came up to the stage with a huge smile and waved to the audience. Casey grabbed my hand and then hugged me before leaving the stage. The crowd was loving his show biz antics. I actually skipped my way off the stage and into the audience while holding my microphone in one hand and giving out a few scripts to indiscriminately chosen students. It all turned out successfully. The kids threw themselves into it while having a blast.

        The way it turned out was forty-plus minutes of enjoyment for me. In truth, “all’s well that ends well”! For me, it began well and has never ended better than that day.

Harvey Kalmenson

- More to come next week about some of the actors I’ve directed. -

Image Source(s): Google

Da Shlub

        I take the time now to, once again, interrupt my life to go back to a pleasant –as well as a not-so-pleasant time– for the then eight-year-old Harvey Kalmenson. It was a Sunday, December 7th, of the year 1941. I returned home from whatever I had been up to and found my fourteen-year-old sister Ruth sobbing as I had never seen her do before.

• At 7:55 AM, the coordinated attack on Pearl Harbor began.
• At 8:10 AM, the USS Arizona explodes.
• At 8:17 AM, A World at War.
• Three scheduled NFL games were underway when the Japanese first attacked Pearl Harbor at 12:55 PM Eastern time on Sunday, December 7, 1941.

"Victory over Japan Day (V-J Day) would officially be celebrated in the United States on the day formal surrender documents were signed aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay: September 2, 1945."

        Our country’s greatest generation was born and unaware of their great world junction; it had set a never-to-be-forgotten example for the world to remember with reverence, perhaps forever.

        Harvey Kalmenson was twelve years of age. Everything began changing. Our boys and girls began taking on more responsibilities than ever before. We didn’t have a schlub or a schlep in our crowd.

        Just a day later, we kids were all back in our schoolyard at P.S. 233. None of us had any thoughts of how our families would be affected during the course of the next few years. We learned quickly.

Language of the yard

The last kid ever to be picked to play in any of our games was unusually labeled "schlub".

schlub (noun)

a talentless, unattractive, or boorish person

The poor dumb shlub just didn't get it.

ORIGIN: the 1960s, Yiddish shlub, perhaps from Polish

If you were deemed to be "not too bright", you were considered to be a schlepp (another bad connotation).

schlepper /ˈSHlepər/ (also shlepper) (noun)

an inept or stupid person

ORIGIN: the 1930s, Yiddish, from schlepp

If you were referred to as a "schlub", or "schlep" by anyone in our neighborhood schoolyard, there was a good chance a fistfight would have followed.