BOOK ONE — CHAPTER ONE

“Memoirs Before The Fact”         It so grieves me to lose good friends. Mere death should not be a good enough reason for a relationship to end. When there is mutual respect, and all people in relationships thrive on helping and stimulating the other to grow to endless horizons, then why should we accept departure when we don't have to?         I have decided to not accept announcements of any of my treasury being depleted. I will hoard the substance of what I was given, or have gained by being in the presence of a valued nurturer. If a person allowed tenderness, stimulated my smile, or shared with me their discomfort over the human condition, then that person will forever remain as a mainstay of my life's fortune. Then if what I practice is shared and obtainable, I, too, shall live forever.         I will never lose a friend. I will share what I was given, and nurture when I am allowed to nurture. I will remain a teacher, and perhaps practice what they have given me, forever. A thought relayed becomes a memory forever; never to be lost, never to be forgotten. After that, who knows? hk da harv November 6, 2002

Forward (as opposed to backward, I hope):   “CLICHÉ TIME”         It’s almost impossible to believe that I have devoted over fifty years of my life in joyous pursuit of the correct way to convey verbal communication. I have been taught, and have taught. Each and every day of my life has been, and will continue to be, a vital part of my learning experience. I live with a constant flow of messages coming in. The looks, the smells, the sounds, the acknowledgements, and the supposed motivations behind them. All are part and parcel of my quest for continual learning.         If my words are sounding like they're driven spiritually, you’re on the right track. Not from my beginnings, but as a cultivation of my years spent in a total learning process. It appears my greatest discovery has been the growth that comes with an ability to feel for others. It is that feeling that provides an unequaled satisfaction. It’s hard to explain. Knowing is magical. I never take it for granted. As if given a gift, I open the pages of a book and the spirituality begins to take hold.          When I was younger, I truly didn’t comprehend what was happening to me. As I grew older, I was not only cognizant of my transitions, but I sought them out on a continual and relentless quest. From others I discovered self. From my inner self came my sensitivity as a director.  Certainly, listening is synonymous with learning. I didn’t invent the theory. In my work, I practice it with unbridled verve.          Through the years, many of the actors have caught on to my methodology. On a regular basis, a variety of trivia and depth stirred by the inquisitive minds of creative people is presented to me. While my studio runs meticulously on time, we’ve been known to occasionally fall behind when without warning a new learning experience presents itself.         Actors in general, contrary to the beliefs of the average man, are a special group of extremely bright people. Only when actors become mired in the dark areas of political venues, do they lose all of their charm. This book is, by design, intending to stay as far from politics as possible. I will, however, not stray from who I am and who I have become because of what this great country has offered and afforded me.         Mine is not an uncommon story. My immigrant grandparents, mother and father entered this country following an arduous boat ride, to say the least; allowing what only the United States of America could provide. I grew up hearing my father's words and deeds. His doctrine was simple: “plant, harvest, and never extend your hand looking for something to be given to you free”.

LIST OR MANIFEST OF ALIEN PASSENGERS FOR THE  U.S. IMMIGRATION OFFICER AT PORT OF ARRIVAL (Above) #19 - 22: Ethel, Max, Ben, Charles Kalmenson To be continued...

"Sold Out"

“Sold Out” The very best I had to say!    INTRODUCTION if such a thing exists…           Since the very earliest of modern theatre, as we’ve learned to know and understand it, the most welcome statement being posted by a producer is a simple two word statement: “Sold Out”! It just doesn’t get any better than that people!

What questions should I ask, when I don’t know what questions to ask?         The questions rarely ever change from generation to generation—for as long as actors have ventured forth, on whatever the stage, whatever the time of day, whatever their age, or where they happened to be. Actors would and will continue to raise their questions. First, they aspire to the heights. Then, they fall from favor. Families have debated the question for centuries. Why would their children —their fathers, their mothers, their aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, or just passing acquaintances— ever want to become an actor?         Long before anyone ever heard of the voice over artist, the same questions where being asked. Remarkably, not only are the same questions being asked today, but also the same answers are being given. Many of you are wondering whether or not you bought the right book for a prospective voice talent to learn from. This book is about voice over; voice over, as the truly subjective art form it happens to be. And make no mistake, voice over is an acting craft.         For me the bottom line will always be the same for actors: I always advise actors to look out for those (out there) professing to be the last word when it comes to how an actor can accomplish success. What we are involved with is a method for helping actors to establish their true signature. It’s a way for actors to find out who they are today. Nothing is ever a tougher direction for an actor than when they are told to be themselves. "Act natural" is another of those seemingly simple enough directions for an actor to handle. In truth, it’s these simple directions that send many actors into a state of shock.         Fifty years has allowed me to gather what certain individuals have found as their important tricks of the trade. As I began this book, I couldn’t help but look back at the actors who have come my way, in what feels like such a short period of time. Some folks might receive a great deal of satisfaction as they sit in their counting house, looking at what coinage they’ve been able to accumulate. In my case, the satisfaction comes from the thousands of voice actors that have gained from my teaching method, the thousands that have crossed my path as a director.         From telephone answering machine announcements to the likes of Orson Welles reading a dessert menu... from a voice at an airport warning that the yellow zone is for loading to Buddy Hackett portraying a troll in an animated feature film... from the joy of Brock Peters functioning as the voice of a sage to experiencing the patience, and professionalism of Cloris Leachman... coupled with the relentless over and over approach of a John Houseman, or Howard Duff.         And the beat continues to go on. The list swells, and the learning process continues.The names that I mentioned are a mere sampling of the actors and directors that I have gleaned from. It is virtually impossible for an actor to exist by him or herself. Watching and listening plays a big part of any good study program.         I can remember as a very young guy, having the privilege of interning for a short period of time during the Alfred Hitchcock anthology series. With Mr. Hitchcock, this intern learned (when he wasn’t doing a wide variety of tasks) by watching and listening. Certainly Hitch, (that’s how the "in" crowd referred to him) wasn’t about to talk to anyone of my limited attainment. Maybe a small amount of eye contact took place if he was trying not to fall over me.

Even at my then young age, I understood how important focus was to any creative person. I marveled at the way Hitchcock watched and listened with unbelievable intensity. But it was his listening to what the actors looked like that astounded me.         What I learned then is what I practice today as a director. If I can hear the smile or feel the emotion of anguish or frustration without being influenced by the actor’s visual display, then, as the director, I've received a very strong message that I am on track. For that ability to listen, I respectfully submit my thanks to that one short, round man.          It has always seemed like such an obvious trait for the actor to develop. The ability to listen and the ability to focus are just about one and the same, you might think. Often people profess to be listening, and while they appear to be listening the what’s missing is the fact they are simply not focused on the direction. Direction might come in the way of a question. It might be a case of the director asking the actor a question in order to get a response allowing for where the actor is emotionally in that moment.

And how can you get started on your long journey? We advise you to begin by getting a trained professional guidance counselor to listen to your needs. Doesn’t that sound hokey? Wait! Don’t hang up on me. Remember what I said about listening? Well, that’s what a trained counselor is trained to do: listen.  Who can you trust? Where do you find people like that? Will it cost a great deal of money?         All of the above are valid questions. You are not only entitled to a straight answer, but an honest and informed answer is an absolute must in order for an actor to have even the remotest chance of succeeding in our world of voice over.

Work Shops & Coaches         In general, actors have the very best handle on the good, the bad, and even the most ugly of what’s out there, professing to be the actor’s helper. The larger the city, the more good and bad helpers you will find. I call them the in and outers. These are the folks in our business who find themselves in a struggle to make a living. They turn to coaching.

What I suggest first is the most tried and true method for finding help in a big city like Los Angeles. Word of mouth. Actors talk to one another. While advertising can be a marvelous signpost, that’s all it is. Read the sign, and then ask an actor or two if they have had experience with the people whose name appears on the signpost. The really good workshops have a tendency to stay around for long periods of time. The bad ones disappear quickly. Word of mouth works both ways.          When an actor calls a workshop enquiring about what they have to offer and his calls are consistently being answered by a machine (with no one getting back to him that very same day), well, for me, that isn’t the kind of a place that I would like to trust my career too. It may be a workshop that you’re calling about, but it must be run like a business.

For me, personally, I wouldn’t think of signing on with a workshop, unless it was recommended by an actor or two who I respect. Agents are also good authorities on where to go for education. Even if an agent does not represent you, they will usually be amenable when it comes to making workshop suggestions.         Before enrolling a workshop, have your questions answered in advance. Either by online research or by calling. It is important to know how long they have been in business, as well as their qualifications. How many different kinds of classes do they offer? It is important for you to be studying with a like group of people. What I’m getting at is that you obviously wouldn’t want to be in a beginners group if you happen to be an actor with twenty years of experience in the theater.

The workshop representative should be amenable in giving you a reasonable amount of telephone time. That representative must be knowledgeable. Too often a person who is acting as nothing more than a telephone receptionist will handle your call. When your career is at stake you should expect a great degree of caring to be displayed by the people running the workshop in question. Never settle for second best. Los Angeles is the home to the finest acting coaches in the world. Just ask another actor. They’ll know where to find them. HK

RICOCHET: Thinking about yesterday, contemplating tomorrow…

Ricochet Stepping below Attainment Often from the edge Praying, were it a ledge Safely resting on a breeze Of righteous thought… I thought Meaningless… when bought Disguised in his dormancy Betrayed favor Jested by these fanatics Religious clods Human struggle beneath An entire country’s grief They rush in New thrones, there to replace the old Always they are the same Those, the sanctimonious play for all Indifferent sides, results separated then rejoined This massive surge of humanity alone When Fresh newborn breezes seize the moment Some move back from ledges Others fall as nature dictates Fear dissipates New longevity bolstered Each life  Weak or strong Taking unwanted roads A precipice hidden beneath a new ledge Deeper than others People, right or wrong Fear each new breeze Learning during man’s mortal stay Longevity rules Too often deceived by one's self alone Not forever to stay To float Above a new ledge, ladder perched Not obstructed by another’s will Moving up using each rung Your heart assures You will not fall You will not fail You belong A new ledge to form Ricochet your norm -HK- Monday, 19 August 2002

I guess there always will exist a "why" and "wherefore" for all of us to ponder from time to time. I readily admit to being a ponderer. The piece you just read was written by me twenty years ago in August of 2002, on a Monday. And if you’re interested, it was a pondering day for me. Please take note, the word "ponder" should not be confused with the word "pander", even though men and even some ladies might be involved with either.         When pandering is in the hands of so-called "leaders" —and it’s less than artful gestures have been directed towards our friends, trusted allies, and most importantly their constituents the very people who have voted them into command— chaos always represents the precursor for defeat. And yet, with all the proven crap we are systematically fed by those at the top since the beginnings, we American people have managed to grow and prosper. We all must take a breath, make that a deep inhaling of only what we all know to be the truth; “We shall overcome!”         Longevity and ledges are the world's salvation. Some ledges stand for eternities while others crumble —hopefully into beautiful white sandy beaches for humanity to enjoy for centuries to come.   And one more thing… Notes (with a smile): Qualifications to be a United States Representative To be elected, a representative must be at least 25 years old, a United States citizen for at least seven years and an inhabitant of the state he or she represents.         In order to serve in any branch of our United States military, a gal or guy must have a complete physical exam performed by the branch of the service he or she plans on serving in. The exam is thorough to say the least, usually taking a full day or more, depending on the chosen branch of service. Additionally, in most cases the first week of service is dedicated to a complete battery of mental exams as well. Mental and physical results will determine whether or not you're qualified to serve. After all, a person who may have a mental condition should not be allowed to deal with any form of weapon (you would think). After all, many lives are at stake.

If you have a moment or two to help me out with a couple of burning questions, I’d really appreciate the help: 1. If the military strives to make reasonably sure a new recruit isn’t mentally or physically impaired by requiring mental and physical tests, why isn’t the same requirement exist for anyone running for Congress? If I was able to serve, I would. But da harv is far too old for the military. Interestingly enough, I could run for Congress —they don’t seem to have an age requirement. As a matter of fact, I could run for governor of the state I’ve been living in for the past seventy-four years. 2. The president of the United States is limited to two four-year terms, but some of our congress are at the point of being far too old for the Woodland Hills Actors' home. It’s my humble opinion the founding fathers never expected to live as long as we do today. I wrote this great song for election time. It’s all wrapped up in a professional bow and ready for a listen. My song is called: “It’s What America Is All About”. It is a complete and professionally produced demo which has been suitably copyrighted.

Winnowing continued...

Winnowing Thoughts My Struggle To Preserve Prolonged thoughts often stay with me, becoming more and more aware of a need to serve my needs. Often ideas strike me, without pre-determinations, yet aware they exist for me to reap. When it happens, vague reasons accompany them. Rarely, if ever instantly understood, answers serve as a presentment of questions following anew. Thoughts play the music in my mind, never with initial meanings, simply there for me to question each time, my self will to be determined are my thoughts released for me to capture, only as a scribe. In order to preserve them before even a gentle breeze manages to winnow away the remainder forever of what creativeness always succumbs to... Sifting through whatever depths remain intact. And though experiences are familiar… They remain for this scribe, each a humbling event! Satisfaction temporary Elation without notice Today turns to yesterday Tomorrow a new thought Annie there to sing it (Tomorrow)

When did this stirring commence within this evil little beast? Dad said I had just turned two, when I began making musical sounds as an accompanying human instrument to whatever the tune was he was using that night while singing little da harv to sleep (1938, maybe). Eddy Arnold (cowboy) Little Man You've Had A Busy Day Lyrics: Little man you're crying', I know why you're blue, Someone took your kiddy-car away, Better go to sleep now, Little man you've had a busy day... Johnny won your marbles, tell you what we'll do, Dad will get you new ones right away, Better go to sleep now, Little man you've had a busy day...      But if you are still young enough, and your child is as well, I would recommend singing Perry Como’s version of the song. It’s really easy enough to memorize; suitable for mommas, as well.      Dad stood on the platform…and watching as I boarded a train heading up to Fort Ord for my basic training into the United States Army… Gazing from my window seat, I witnessed something I had never before seen my father do. Free of shame, my dad was crying. It was a first-time experience for me… sixty-eight years ago, and I can still sing the song he sang to me when I was five… From condition, to attitude, by way of sincere reflection: It is ours to use by all— the Kalmenson & Kalmenson Method. We teach what God gave us. -HK-

Winnowing

Winnowing         …Excuse me, but I’d like to begin with one more thing. Damn it—because a thought popped in and up—that’s the way it works for me. If in the event you’re not the guy or gal who has this curious bent, not to worry about what I have to say—because if the shoe doesn’t happen to fit, don’t read it. Okay, then it leads to another thing. Some are saying it doesn’t make sense, anyone with half a brain knows you can’t read a shoe. Well, stop right now, and listen to me. I didn’t make this up. A thought ascended and I remembered way back to when I was “younger than spring time, was I”.

…It was back in 1953 when I was stationed thirty-five miles north of the thirty-eighth parallel, somewhere in North Korea. "The weather outside was frightful", stolen lyric from the 1945 song “Let It Snow”, by Sammy Cahn & Jule Styne. Neither of those gentlemen had anything to do with my story. As a matter of fact, when they actually wrote the song, it was in the middle of the summer in a place called New York City (I think).         Back to Korea. It was about 2AM, a very heavy storm was making our lives hellish to the tune of thirty-five degrees below zero. Wouldn’t you know, without any real warning, nature called. Hurriedly, I threw on my clothes and made a mad dash to our company latrine, where I was semi-surprised to find a buddy of mine sitting on the pot with his shoes in hand, while he shined his flashlight lighting up the inside of his boots.         "What the hell are you doing," I barked at him. “I can’t go to sleep without reading”, he answered completely embarrassed. “There was nothing to read in here”, he explained. Our company chaplain, who happened to be one wonderfully funny guy, commented to a few of us when hearing the story about reading your boots: “You know, guys, in life sometimes shit happens.” We all fell down laughing.         What made that tidbit cross into my thought pattern at this moment in time is beyond my comprehension. Some thoughts last; some disappear instantly. I guess what you remember has a reason for recollection. My shoe size happens to be size eleven the last time I looked. …and so on with the show! To be continued... -HK-

Make Room for Zoom

…It’s upon us, and here to stay, (I think) Make Room for Zoom         In the event you might not have noticed… it seems like everybody you know "iz",  or has become a “Zoomer”. It’s an easy enough name to remember: “Zoomer” rhymes with late bloomer, groomer, bath-roomer, and many, many more I’m sure, like gloom, and ok, tomb, broom, monsoon (I don’t have the patience to look for any more right now). Time for me to "re-zoom"!         Well, zooming right along, whenever there happens to be a change in our industry, said change either moves right along as is the case with the trending of “Zooming”, or any of its so-called derivatives. Or raises up to a momentary high before falling on its ass, like a mule without a continuous braying—rhymes with praying—which mostly never works out well when it comes to earning money, especially when it has to do with the lottery. I’ve been buying lottery tickets and simultaneously praying at the same time; the first California Lottery tickets were sold on October 3, 1985.

Zoom is a web conferencing platform that is used for audio and/or video conferencing. They didn’t have none-a-dat when I was little blue-collar da harv in Brooklyn. For me, the web was a place for spiders. I loved the comic strip “Spider-Woman”, and so did almost all of my friends. According to the comic strip, she actually lived in a spiderweb—there was never any mention of a conferencing platform. A platform was something the then, ninety-ninth, New York City mayor La Guardia ran on.         And one more thing to hear: “ZOOM IS HERE” at Kalmenson & Kalmenson, our newly-forming classes are being launched immediately. Our class schedule can be found on our website. Take a look, we’re global. Our internationally known Kalmenson Method for Voice-Over Acting has been made into a perfect vehicle for actors in all stages of their careers. "From condition to attitude by way of reflection." We are the original creator of a method that has successfully provided men and women with a track to run on... A hand to hold that will last a lifetime.

Zoom is upon us... Kalmenson & Kalmenson is here to stay, Rhymes with "HURRAY"! (And HK)

For classes: 818-377-3600 education@kalmenson.com