About Feet: Your Feet, My Feet, Our Feet, Everybody’s Feet

In general, most feet aren’t particularly attractive. Don’t you think so, especially as one grows older? Some of the oldest and wisest of us human beings happen to have the ugliest feet on the planet. As a matter of fact, the more special the owner of the feet, the more likely it is that those special feet will be the worst lookers of all.

Who has special feet, you might ask? Athletes of almost all gender and kinds have bad feet. Bad feet hurt in addition to being unattractive. Dancers – male and female – have bad and lousy looking feet with ballet dancers leading the way because they begin cultivating the ugliness very early on.

Note: It used to be the Chinese women of the aristocracy leading the Bad Foot Parade. Of Course, they weren’t the least bit athletic and most of them didn’t dance because they actually had trouble standing. They were also unable to go grocery shopping, which may explain why all they ate was Chinese food.

There are probably those of you out there who are deeply concerned over da Harv having lost his faculties at this point. Not to worry, there was a legitimate stimulus for this essay on feet. Day in and day out, the number of men and women who come in to audition while not wearing shoes takes me aback. Flip-flops have become the norm. While it may be the norm today, it wasn’t always the case.

Up until the end of World War II, almost everyone considered shoes as part of their regular, everyday apparel. Somewhere between the end of World War II and the Korean War, our Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines began the love affair with shoes, or the lack thereof, being attired in the Far East Theatre of Operations. In short order, both men and women discovered how inexpensive flip-flops were in comparison to regular footwear.

The deed had been done.

In a way, it forces people to look up. I mean, who of you out there desires to be in a restaurant looking down at almost nothing but an abundance of ugly feet?

Please, not while I’m eating.

The last time I witnessed a large group of good-looking feet assembled in one location was in a hospital nursery full of infants. They are the remaining bastions of hope for human feet. Regardless of race, creed, or color infants have nice feet, don’t they?

If you happen to be the exception to the rule, and have beautiful feet, and would like to have them put on display, just send me a picture of your nude feet and I’ll see to it that they receive the proper attention.

This is an equal opportunity offer. Democrats and Republicans are welcome to join in. There will be no prizes awarded.