It’s All The Rage: Don’t Act Your Age

“This is the lesson: Never give in... Never, never, never, never, …in nothing great or small, large or petty-never give in except to convictions of honor or good taste.”

Winston S. Churchill

Not then, as a child,
Or as manhood took over,
Physically following nature's
predictable course of events
Happening to find myself experiencing,
Never quitting, though provoking,
Or as is so aptly put in the world
of pugilism, throwing in the towel.


Regardless of personal mindset.
Each day of my manly humanization
Fortunately learning the curative value
a good night of sleep might bring...
And the next day with God once again
turning on the brightness of a new early morning
Looking forward whatever the reason
Was then my implacable direction?

Though his discernable direction
Far in the future
Never to be disclosed!

And the above
Truth be said
For all who knows the man
Or knew of him when living
If only by letters read

All agreed, some ferociously
No man ever more stubborn
Before, or in his stead.



Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “We are all shaped and fashioned by what we love.”

One person who had read his quote, instantly allowed complete agreement, expounding on how their total lifestyle was joyous and giving.

While another person, formed and covered by a different cloth, disregarded the author's substance while observing dispassionately, “How could a guy named Waldo know anything about real life or love?”

Is serving a form of elegance?
Is giving a form of graciousness?
Is turning the other cheek a loving thing to do?
Where do I travel at this seemingly late date to get the answers to my penetrable questions?

Questions most likely not answerable: a homeless man asleep on the street, obviously without any noticeable wealth after being mugged, knowing no other alternatives rivaling his survival, when asked by a reporter, “What were you thinking?” replied, "I felt I was about to die, and you know what…I didn’t give a damn until I realized I was far too young for a final breath."

It kind of shoots the shit out of what our friend Ralph Waldo Emerson had to say. Maybe the question about whether a guy named Waldo had credibility turns out to be a good one? I’d never be guilty of trying to explain to either of my children how the person who was stealing from the homeless man did so from a position of love. And, if the man were a loving guy, he would have informed the crook he had missed the real hiding place.

Mom and Dad were loving people, I guess, but they dispensed love on a family first quota. Simple people with a simple regimen; family first, followed by friends, if you happened to have any. Stay where you belonged in your own neighborhood. Don’t go looking for trouble. Stay in good shape so you could blossom tomorrow when God decides to turn the lights on for another day.

***

SURVEYING THE POLITICO

Have you ever given blood?
Been mugged?
Been in our country’s military service?
Been insulted because of your race or religious preference?
Been frightened to the point of vomiting, or losing control of normal bodily functions?

No? Then how the hell do you know what it might feel like to do so? But... you do qualify to become an elected official and, most likely, you already are one.

As I become older and older it becomes easier and easier to act my age. Often the thought of curtailing my emotional outbursts doesn’t remotely enter a psyche, which has endured a parade of dishonest and self-centered politicos hell bent on being a feature player on any power-driven stage that might have them.

A singer who can’t carry a tune, a comedian who isn’t the least bit funny, the pretty or handsome face that isn’t capable of any form of an honest portrayal, all joining forces with a ventriloquist whose lips move uncontrollably during a performance all manage to join hands and take a bow together, knowing it will be their last.

It is, after all, a paid election.
No audience will pay to see them ever again.

The actor, however, is forced by the nature of the beast that governs his life or death the constant necessity to audition for his future sustenance. His past and present will dictate the future. Unlike the elected official, who revels in being elected one term after another although his performances have been shoddy at best, he nevertheless is able to blame his ineptitude on the actors who trod the boards before him as the culprits, who should be the ones blamed for his deceit and malfeasance of performance. An actor who performs poorly usually experiences a short-lived career.

Shouldn’t that be the case for our civil servants?

As actors, we have in common an honesty that cannot be taken from us. We strive to perform well. We all seek the applause and standing ovations accompanying our fine performances. But what about our civil servants who lie and cheat? What about those who promise to serve my brethren--service men and women, who served those same civil servants that now without care make our heroes wait in endless lines?

My name is Harvey Kalmenson. I’m too old to concern myself with anything but the truth. We have men and women in line waiting to be helped. They paid for their tickets to get in, and now the people who own the theatres are not living up to the promises made to them.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."

Abraham Lincoln

Keeping it Together (as a professional, that is)

Firstly, here comes the disclaimer: Who am I to offer advice on how to keep it together?

Yes, I do have a lot of work experience, the kind you might think would help me to be an expert on the subject of how not to become a sniveler, sappy, crybaby, girlie-man who cries when he sees an event, like a squirrel hiding their nuts in the ground.

Never drink alcohol before making a presentation of any kind (if there is any chance of becoming unwound or losing it, alcohol is guaranteed to bring on a performer's emotional undoing).

Certainly I'm not the first nor will I be the last speaker who worries about keeping it together (not losing it) when the subject of the presentation is one of such heart-rendering emotion. It tests our ability as caring human beings to keep from losing it; a time when we find ourselves unable to continue. I’ve been there on many occasions during the course of my professional appearances.

One would be inclined to think the ability to perform without an overt display of emotion would become easier as one gains in experience. Yes and no. The bottom line, of course, is who we really are as individuals.

Obviously, we’re not all the same. Some of us, by nature are just more emotional than others. An obvious assertion.

For the sake of conversation, I’m limiting what I have to say to those of us who make, or are destined to make presentations to groups in public.

Regardless as to whether or not we have emotional stability in our every day life, we are faced with the task of performing as professionals; reportage, being an event guide, or speaking on behalf of a group of people, either paid, or as an obligation to assist during a time of crisis. The thickest of human skin has suffered through a melt-down at always the most inopportune of times. It could come during an audition for the lowliest of jobs. Environment as well as subject matter, or what may have recently occurred in your (our) own personal life,

Activate the emotional trigger. When pulled, it creates a will of its own.

Holding it together while rendering the voice during a fundraiser commercial for deprived children is one form of public service announcement, which almost always promotes more emotional involvement than the norm. There are many more of similar category.

Have you ever wondered how people who appear to be like you in every way, manage to hold it together, and still show attachment for the subject, or the event they are tending to? This coming at a time when you are inwardly concerned with your own personage.

There are methods, tricks of the trade, supposedly designed to enable one to go on with his or her presentation, while experiencing a lip beginning to quiver or a mouth becoming dry, as a personal sensitivity to the subject matter begins finding it’s way to an uncomfortable place of no return.

I marvel at those who have mastered their own personal method of being able to perform with great passion, while being able to keep from presenting an out-of-control display of emotion. Some very strong men and women have shed a tear during one of these moments.

Many high profile and prominent leaders use the method of reading and rereading a script over and over again, until they supposedly become immune to experiencing an uncontrolled display of emotion. This method carries with it the risk of being perceived as uncaring.

Of course the easiest of all tricks to remember would be an inward feeling or expression of anger, or dismay.

(Even the wrong attitude can serve as something to focus in on in order to break away from what you feel is about to happen.)

What follows is a thumbnail look at some of history's grand men and women, who managed to make it through a variety of trying events.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt addressing congress, and asking for a declaration of war following the December 7, 1941 sneak attack on Pearl Harbor. He was deathly serious, angry, and personally affronted by “a date that will live in infamy,” as he put it.

Our president's visage was grave. Our country had suffered one of the worst indignities; we were hit, and our only alternative was retaliation.

For our president, tears were not an option. Can you imagine if FDR went before congress, and began to sob as he asked them for a declaration of war?

Sir Winston Churchill was in my opinion the best of the very best. Historians have a positive consensus of opinion regarding his ability to rally his country and, many feel, ours as well.

In 1941, as his country experienced the death toll of air raids as a nightly regimen, Sir Winston stepped to the podium in order to address the congress of the United States for the first time.

“[Japan’s leaders] have certainly embarked on a very considerable undertaking [Laughter]…What kind of people do they think we are?”

And for the above, Sir Winston received a standing ovation. Perhaps the most monumentally depressive moment in world history, was never the less treated with the aplomb and dignity only a person of his stature could possibly have effectuated.

"Undertaking" (the word), signifying the bombing of Pearl Harbor, and "undertaking" (the word) as the reference to the corpse at a funeral home, was delivered to congress with complete and total understanding. Hence a moment of laughter, ultimately followed by a standing and thunderous ovation of thanks for the encouragement.

In this situation… there was no time for the shedding of tears. He was a world leader, at work, leading!

The thought of breaking down never entered Winston Churchill’s mind.

Although FDR and Winston Churchill were experiencing a never before crises of overpowering magnitude, the scope of the historical events preceding their speeches far out weighed the grief of any individual's suffering. Their concern was for the survival of their respective countries. It becomes far more difficult to contain one's self when the suffering is individualized.

An athlete making a goodbye or farewell speech at the end of a career, upon retirement, often turns into a tearjerker for all concerned.

I’m always reminded of the movie “Pride Of The Yankees,” when Gary Cooper playing the part of the famous Yankee first baseman Lou Gehrig, steps up to the microphone at a packed Yankee Stadium, and delivers the now immortal line, “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man in the world”; there wasn’t a dry eye in the theater. He touched us as individuals. His loss became ours, and so the tears flowed. In retrospect, much of Lou Gehrig’s departure speech did serve as encouragement for thousands of people who found they too suffering through some form or another of life’s unforeseen trials. Doubtful if this category of speech can ever be properly prepared for.

Margaret Thatcher

At a time in her career when the press as well as the parliament was tossing rocks and boulders at her, she managed from deep within an effervescence, which served as a rallying point for herself and her country at the same time. She stepped up to the microphone on what was to be recorded as one of her most auspicious outings.

It came at a particularly trying time for the prime minister of England, but as opposed to succumbing to human and emotional upheaval, she followed in the sublime footsteps of Sir Winston, as she delivered with:

“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and importance, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”

“I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, they have not a single political argument left.”

And for me, the most difficult performance assignment is definitely the one where I know in advance of the people who will be in the audience. Those who, along with me, have experienced a loss, or a change of guard, after many years of personal association.

A real life recent example of this would have been delivering the eulogy of the late great basketball announcer, Chick Hearn. (I’m glad I wasn’t the one chosen for this assignment). In this particular case, the high visibility of this very personal individual brings with it the additional pressures of a celebrity-packed audience.

(Note: If you’re ever called on to extol the virtues during the celebration of a person’s life, it’s a necessity to stay focused. Putting names with the faces in the audience can be a terrible distraction. Eye contact is not the key to a good performance in this instance. Seeing a close friend or acquaintance begin to tear up isn’t exactly a stabilizing factor.)

Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in ballparks for seventeen years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement from you fans.

"I Owe It To Them" Attitude

Some events are obviously far more taxing then others. As the master of ceremonies at a local beauty pageant, the danger of me being driven to tears would not normally exist.

(I mean, how bad could it be, surrounded by a group of look good, smell good, bright young women who by nature are seeking approval.)

Cope!

Often, as most of us do, as we wade through more of life’s unexpected chores, we may boohoo the happening as being undeserved, unwarranted, and even unfair. “Why me Lord, oh why me?” is often murmured to one's self. Is there a person out there who hasn’t had a comparable inner debate at one time or another? I doubt it. If we live and breath, there will always occur a "deal with it" moment on the horizon. The undeserved, the unwarranted, and even the unfair are always just around the corner, seemingly a happening for each of us; and for those in this no business (no biz) like our business world, our own special and regular dose of destiny.

How to cope and not be a gloomy mope? How to stay pleased and at ease, all the time knowing that up tight will lose the fight; knowing being bright and sunny is what your pending audition calls for? Regardless of what our call in our no biz life, we are expected to be up and bright. No illnesses for our families or us; no back taxes; no kids needing braces; and certainly roofs that leak, brakes that squeak, neighbors who freak; and a parent who has become your child.

All these are part of life’s eternal bestowal. But the bottom line, as I see it, is how lucky I am to be alive and able to cope. I say the words every night, and every day. Yesterday, I lost a directing job many of my colleagues would equally have prized. But, in reflection, and of course after I had murmured under my breath a couple of appropriate expletives, I said, “Okay then. Been there, done that. Boy did they blow it!” I have my wife, and we’re both healthy, and only on rare occasions considered to be cantankerous. (Actually I’m the one they consider cantankerous.)

What stimulated my offering these words is simply the number of questions I’m constantly getting from actors, asking me how I always seem to be smiling and having it together. The fact is, what the actors see is my game face. I want them to do the best they can. My job is to be a form of inspiration, not a driving force cultivating hopeless desperation. But inside, at any given time, I too am experiencing some of the aforementioned bumps in the road.

So, what does "da harv" do to bolster his own spirits? I follow what I grew up with; as directed by my father, I make it a point to regularly count my blessings. My dad used to say, "There by the grace of God, go I.” When I was a very young man, I said my dad's words, but I began to really feel their meaning more and more as life’s pressures marred my way. Dad also encouraged me to read about the great leaders of the world; what made them great, and the most dominant and underlying ability to display and build confidence in others. His favorite man of history became mine. My problems were miniscule compared to his. He had an entire world dependant on his stamina and inspiration.

What follows are the words penned by the greatest leader and statesman, in my estimation, of all time. I doubt if any other human being ever answered his country's, and the world's call more propitiously than Winston Churchill; the World War II prime minister of Great Britain. Arguably, without him our cherished United States of America would not and could not exist the way we know it today.

Perhaps Sir Winston can provide you with the same wisdom I was able to glean:

"It may be that the most glorious chapters of our history are yet to be written. Indeed, the very problems and dangers that encompass us and our country ought to make Englishmen and women of this generation glad to be here at such a time. We ought to rejoice at the responsibilities with which destiny has honoured us, and be proud that we are guardians of our country in an age when her life is at stake."
- Winston Spencer Churchill, April 1933