The
destructiveness in a small town Connecticut school is beyond the realm of mere
insanity. And yet as we grieve, enduring the seemingly insurmountable
realizations of life’s turmoils, what remains is the unseemly task of carrying
on and moving forward with what we have left – vocations and avocations without
real substantive meaning. But giving
up and in to the magnitude of what our grief demands, a complete stoppage of
our normal joys, is not the direction we choose as the necessary prescription if
we are to recover.
I have no
celebratory bells or whistles nor statements derived from the pens of the
geniuses I’ve been privileged to read. Nothing said then or today offers any
relief by the word form it takes. Sharing the disbelief of that day’s voided
solace has brought the common man, the clergy, and the exceptional person along
with the average everyday dolt together.
That night
I drank far more than my normal potion. As usual, no grape would provide a
softening element of relief. Like many, I cried at the sights and sounds being
reported over and over again. Sitting there starring blankly at a television
monitor as the station repeatedly displayed a continuous loop of the human
devastation. Then the next day, and the next came without relief – the sight of
caskets, too small to be caskets. Caskets should never be for six-year-old
children; it was never God’s intent, at least that’s what I’ve been told.
And words
come forth from the Talking Heads directed to anyone within listening distance.
These people bear no fault; they are just messengers sharing as equals the
realizations of the transformations caused by the unmitigated heinousness that
will remain with us all forever.
They will never
hear:
“Give me
what you got…
“Don’t
leave anything on the field…
“Come out
of the locker room ready to play.”
“How happy
can you get?
“How happy
can you be?”
They ask
and you choose to ignore. While listening to an individual who no wise person
would want in their lives yet there he is, destiny’s gift to the world around
him – as shallow as a pond could be while still being allowing some ounces of
water to accumulate.
“Do you
have anything left?”
Comes now
the momentary hesitation…
“Ok then,”
he says with his hand extended waiting for the handing over of the ball.
“But Coach,
you didn’t give me time to answer.”
“I didn’t
have to. You were on empty; it was written all over you.”
“The Littlest Actors”
The man is
an actor.
The actor
is a man.
He’s a
child; so is she?
What
difference does it make?
It makes a
great deal of difference.
Pardon me.
Excuse me.
Remove
yourself. You’re in my way.
What
difference does it make?
All the
difference in the world.
To whom?
To me there
will always be a difference.
He doesn’t
really care.
He cares a
great deal.
It’s
obvious, isn’t it?
Not to me.
She doesn’t
understand.
She
understands everything.
Is all we attempt to do a game?
Is there a manager who decides?
Do we have anything left?
For those who have never played,
To take from us what is not theirs to take?
Those children are too young to play
But yet they have played.
Who awarded the right for a child’s removal, no
matter the game?
Don’t take me from the game, dear Coach.
I have so much left in my tank, albeit such a tiny
holder.
Ask my Mother about how much I can play.
She won’t be able to understand.
She doesn’t
understand.
She
understands everything.
The
bewildered Father, friends, teachers, and the brethren along with all the rest
-- their littlest actors gone.
At rise,
the pleasantness of the moment is upon our cast of players.
All are at
the ready to perform.
Then,
without notice the darkest of curtains descends.
No
applause, no gratitudes; our audience remains forever unfulfilled.
All is gone
except for the memories.
At rise,
what could have been will never be.
“The ball
has been taken from them.”
HK
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